backseat
March 31, 2009 6:30 PMI love my friends so, so much.
I really wish it could be them that fixes it all, I know they want to so much, but that's what drives me to do this. For them, not for me.
I really can't control how I feel, and I really can't stop missing you. Not who you are (lol), but who you were for me.
It's scary, maybe I'm already over it. I don't know, I don't want to think about it, sometimes it just hurts a tad too much to think about. I do myself a whole lot better just moving along forward.
I'm liking the emotions though, it's a funny feeling sometimes, being human. The capacity for immaturity that I'm willing to flow back into my life, the aggression, hatred, and vanity. Yet nothing holds; emotions aren't meant to hold.
What comes to mind now is Mr. Purdom's voice in the background resonating in my head, "You get to use fragments." He knows I love my fragments; I think it's becoming a bad habit though. I like writing the way I talk though, so I guess I just have fragmented speaking skills :P
Run, run, run. I know where the goal line is now.
Turn me around, pick me up.
I'm protected. There's a seal on my heart; I'll never fall as far as I have until I choose to be that person again. So I won't, and maybe I'll start deleting shit soon. It's fine standing still and all, but now it's time to set things straight. I would like my life back, to be honest you don't really deserve it anymore. I would like to argue your case for you, but I'm tired of that shit, and I really would rather have happiness in this life.
I'll listen to a song or two, just to honor what we had, what I achieved. Thanks, by the way, I've grown a pair since, and maybe I still have a long way to go but I'm sure a hell of a lot farther.
Bring me joy, bring me peace, bring the chance to be free, bring me anything that brings Your glory.
So smile, maybe it doesn't reflect the torment inside, but it takes less energy than frowning.
Wake it up, wake it up.
7 days until my SAT scores.