foreboding
October 22, 2008 7:43 PMIf you know what's going to happen, do you try to prevent it if you don't like it?
How do you go about doing this?
Do you not like it because it's inevitable?
It's easy to say that labeling something "inevitable" is pessimistic. When is it not worth it?
Are you learning by gaining new insights and experiences, or are you learning by letting go of old ones?
Shifting gears, there's hella too much drama in leadership. Gets to the point where everything is excessively cheesy. Apparently about 38 extra students or so got into the dance and didn't pay a dime, and leadership/Ms. Benau (one of the vice principals) is taking the hit. Nobody really stepped up to take the blame, but I don't really think that's so relevant now. There's a level of distrust and distance now between our group.
We had a really long talk that utterly required some comic relief. Everybody gets to do their little spiel about how they feel and you hear those really neutral terms like "miscommunication" and "It might just be me, but..." where people are afraid to drop the F-bomb (fault) and blame. Everybody is so cocooned in their perception of impunity through caution.
I love respect and the feeling of safety for who I am, but at this point things are simply WAY TOO GENIAL and superficiality is slowly permeating. "Let's work on our constructive criticism!" So now I'm going to smile when I say things that are borderline offensive, which, in this case, is everything. We cannot be working on how we treat one another on a surface level if the problem is a little bit deeper in our hearts. We are divided, that much is certain, and being false-nice might make some people open up again, but the division remains. Now there are going to be the suckers who fall for the false images and the people thinking they're getting away with being assholes. If we want to create a strong and working environment, we need to truly respect each other on a more personal level and see equality and respect genuinely, not through copying the symptoms of a working, efficient team.
In retrospect, what we see might influence what we believe, but we need not rush to believing when others around us remain distanced through charade.
"...we live by faith and not by sight..."