schizophrenic
March 1, 2009 5:37 PMI find myself being tugged in too many directions. Emotions seem to be playing too keen of a role here. Mood swings have heightened effect on someone who doesn't expect to undergo them, and denies their existence.
So there it is, but though I've said it before and acknowledged the existence, it's still always surprising to see the phases that I cycle through. I dearly hope that what does not kill me will make me stronger.
Because on one side, I think in terms of eternity.
On the other side, I think of reality.
One side, I experience enormous amounts of growth.
The other, I'm backtracking. Stumbling over problems I've already overcome.
One side, I am empowered and dignified.
The other, I am reliant and dependent.
One side, I have come so far.
The other, I have so far yet to go.
One side, takes care of myself.
The other, lays it all down.
One side, receives grace and love.
The other, pours it out on others.
One side, loves Him.
The other, loves her.
One side, brings peace.
The other, brings joy.
One side, lasts forever.
Will the other side last forever?
One side, receives love.
The other, receives comfort.
One side, loves others.
The other, others love.
One side, takes.
The other, gives.
One side, breaks.
The other, crumbles.
One side, fades.
The other, disappears.
One side, recoils.
The other, cringes.
One side, is convicted.
The other, ignores fear.
One side, trusts.
The other side, has faith.
One side, calls me.
The other, I call.
One side, I need to live.
The other side, I'd die without.
One side, loves me.
The other side, I love.
One side, I'd give my life.
The other side, I'd sacrifice everything.
One side, always on my mind.
The other side, I never stop thinking about.
I want to be with You forever. [sic]
I'm covered in Your love. [sic]
Your grace is enough. [sic]
I call, You answer. [sic]
I can't handle there being two sides anymore.
But when I say it, I can't taint one with the other.
I love You. [sic]