foxy

I'm feeling extremely frustrated, and even sad. I should've known ice skating dresses are made for anorexic people, so duh. I should've ordered a size or two up. But nooo, I completely forgot how all those ice skating elites are sized perfectly and are so toned. Sheesh.

March 31, 2007 is when Berkeley Iceland closed. And a year later, its still nowhere close to being re-opened. Still, just the mentioning, or any flashback of Iceland brings me to tears. In all honesty, Iceland was like my second home. I was so heartbroken that Saturday a year ago, I didn't even bother to stay and say goodbye, or linger around, trying to remember the atmosphere and the feel of the ice. The bleachers, the dressing room/ballet room, and lobby with all its wonderfully produced hot chocolate, or even the smell of freshly Zamboni-ed ice. I didn't even stay around to see the Zamboni make its final round.
Its like that whole corny cliché thing about how staying just makes it harder to say goodbye. I left before it was even noon. And I can't regret it enough. I miss Iceland so much. I had a lifelong plan when I was little, that revolved around Iceland. Still, a year after its closing, I haven't been able to get over it.

I'm holding a grudge against Berkeley now. Iceland has history! And they're now all of a sudden responding to all this campaigning for it. Stupid stupid stupid.
Save Berkeley Iceland!

Last weekend was a huge ordeal. I'm confused, if not, even more. In a way, I kinda already knew this was gonna happen. I haven't changed in any way. ATF was an amazing experience, at the time. The things I learned from ATF, I haven't even applied to reality. Its easier said than done, thats for sure. I mean, for goodness gracious, one of my friends is like a Satanist and hates freaky religious people. Uh... I'm not sure how thats gonna work out. I don't want to be one of those really creepy people who try to pressure people to believe in something. Yet, I want the people I love to experience what I felt that weekend.
However, I've completely forgotten that feeling, and looking back, I just feel silly. I often cross that line of fully believing in God, and that He loves me, yet I sometimes believe its all bull.

Ugh, definitely feeling like a fish in and out of water.

Heh heh, title has nothing to do with anything. Seriously. Except for the "mile" part in it.
Since I have a PE waiver, I don't take PE. So its required by the district (All hail the District!!) that Freshman need to take the physical fitness test. The only part I hate about it is the height (har har) and weighing stuff. Push ups, sit ups, trunk lift, whatever. Though I get extremely fidgety when I think of running the mile.
At the beginning of the year, I actually wanted to take PE. I know, crazy! But in the end, I couldn't because there were no more rooms for extra classes. So along came the PE waiver. I haven't taken PE since, well, beginning of 6th grade. And my mile time was like 13 minutes. Ahaha, I know, what a fatty.
But! Today..... my mile time was 9 minutes! Yay!!!!! Either that, or 8. I don't remember. I was too light-headed.

Mm.. feeling very accomplished :]

It looks as though May 21 will no longer be my final date. Because, even though that is when my Senior level test is, I'M NOT GONNA PASS! My ice skating has gotten sucky. Actually, suckier would be better. Senior level is THE last level, and its pretty damn big. If I can't pull this off, its 4 more months of squeezing into that dress I just got yesterday. It also means skating throughout the summer, which... surprisingly, I actually look forward to.
Dad said I could still skate on weekends when I'm "retired". I don't know how to feel about that honestly. Sure, I'd love to skate Saturday mornings. But what would I do? Skate for fun? I think by now my passion for the sport has almost withered.

I really want to be passionate about something. I've had passions before, but nothing that makes me addicted to it. OK, lets rephrase that. I want to be passionate about something, and be GOOD at it. Like, extremely good.
Maybe it all just comes down to the fact that I'm not a hard-worker. I'm passionate about ice skating, truly. But all the practice that comes with it turns me off. I'm passionate about running, but the pain of running makes me look the other direction. I'm passionate about writing, but the incoherency that goes on in my head makes me frustrated.
I know things aren't suppose to be easy. But I wish they were.

I CANNOT wait for 'Twilight' the movie to come out! Robert Pattinson looks like a perfect Edward.

Holy smokes. I've never been in a car accident before. And luckily, it wasn't that bad. A few sore spots here and there I'll probably feel tomorrow morning. Mom had to go the to hospital though. That was interesting. They gave her a neck brace, which made her look silly. I was on the verge of laughing and crying. However, there was nothing to cry about. She was just fine.

Despite the dilemma we were in, I was never unaware of all those muscle-y good looking policemen and firefighters. They even asked me what my name was! Well, it was necessary, but it still felt great!

For some odd reason, I can compare the car accident to something like bumper cars. But that was probably just because I wasn't sitting in the front, like mom and Dennis. At the moment, I'm more curious about the story behind the lady who rear-ended us. I hope shes OK.. Hopefully not enraged with guilt. She looked so scared when she got out of the car, and mom didn't. Poor lady.

Well, thats one other thing I don't like about cars. They're screeching metal death traps.