I don't know why, but it really hurts me when I see people bashing God and religion. Saying stuff like "He's a sick, bloodthirsty sadist! How could you worship such a thing." Its painful. They watch videos about anti-Christ and anti-God or stuff like that, and instantly believe what they watch. And it really just tears me apart.
During school in June, we had group presentations. There were two groups who were aiming to disprove Jesus, and bash Christians. The whole time I was watching, I felt sorrow and pain. A little bit hurt personally, but overall torn because they don't even know God created them. They don't know the love of Jesus and how much God loves them. Its like being given everlasting love and forgiveness, but throwing it all away. It makes me angry and wretched. I know God's working in them, and that He knows why they're doing it, but for a person that God created with love to throw it all away? How can you? And we're not even deserving of it!
This all started when I was youtubing some worship songs. I was instantly moved by one of the songs, and started reading the comments. (I always do that for some reason..) A buddhist commented saying how they were extremely moved and inspired by the song, feeling something they've never felt before. Another user replied saying, "That's the work of God's love in you!" The original poster said, "Well, I wouldn't go that far."
I really can't get over how horrible I felt after reading that. As a Christian, what am I doing to help spread God's love? To help expand His kingdom? When His time comes, when judgement day arrives, what do I have to show for it? I want more people to know how much God loves us, but... I feel like I keep failing. I know I get caught up in every day things and such, like.. is cussing a sin? I do that too often...
Anyways, I think I'm having an emotional overload. One thing's for sure, I'm not scared of the future. If I lay all my worries on God, then everything will be okay :)
Goodnight and God bless!