pink

I just realized today something that's become painfully obvious over the last few months. I dislike telling people when I'm unhappy because I don't want false sympathy. Putting up with people's well wishes and repetitive condolences can be so nauseating that it makes me wish I never opened up my mouth in the first place. At this point I can't even tell when I'm miserable or when I'm in a normal frame of mind, so I just complain about anything to fill up the emptiness between times where I'm happy.

This has gotten to the point where I have nothing to say here or anywhere else. I think I have nothing to say, that nothing is going on, and nothing is happening, nothing has happened. But it's past 2AM I have an 8AM class tomorrow and I can't sleep because so many thoughts are spinning around in my head. And yet I have nothing to say. I could complain about classes, homework, the weather, but then again that's not why I'm still awake.

So how am I today? Fine, thank you and goodbye, there is nothing more to say.

And at the strangest times I find that I suddenly have much more patience then I thought. Ah well, blood is still thicker then water. Now its time to curl up with my newest Raymond Chandler, tomorrow is another early day.

Seriously. Stop upsetting my friends. It's pissing me off.

So many people in the same day, I just don't get it. And I just happen to be short on sleep. I am not in a good mood. Yes, I keep telling myself its NONE OF MY BUSINESS. But if people keep upsetting my friends, I think I'm going to explode.

What is WRONG with all of you? Do you not UNDERSTAND that you are being incredibly unreasonable and selfish? It's not even fun to talk to you anymore, I doubt anyone's behavior is going to change, but if this keeps on going I'm seriously going to lose my temper.