Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!How I wonder what you're at!
Up above the world you fly,
Like a teatray in the sky.
As soon as school starts I get wrapped up in other people's lives, complaints until I start to care. It's really very distracting, especially since I probably have the heaviest workload of all my friends, or at least I'm a close second. I'm starting to getting anxious about their love lives and friendships, and this will be just like last year, I'll start caring so much that I'll be the one asking to listen. I really don't want this to happen, although it may sound selfish or disloyal, if I sort myself out, I really don't care about their problems, but I do want to stay friends. Right now I want to get into college and not fail out of any classes, and it should take priority over listening to them. I just don't know how to get this point across without sounding callous.
At the same time I know that some of this stress is definitely my fault, I enjoy procrastinating way too much, and I also like sleeping the weekend away. Both make for some boring hours in the middle of the night where I'm furiously typing away and hoping to finish homework in time to get enough sleep so I don't pass out during my first class. I really need to work on this, but at the same time, I've been procrastinating less, trying to get work done when I'm actually awake, rather then at the last minute. I don't know if my work ethic has improved, or if I'm trying to stay busy so I don't think about college.
I guess this hasn't been a great weekend for me, my mom and brother left for the east coast to deliver him back to his boarding school. I'll be more or less alone until I fly over on Thursday to do some college visiting, which I'm really not looking forward to. I also think I've lost the skill of being sympathetic and saying the right thing at the right time. A minor crisis turned into a huge one concerning a friend, and I'm pretty sure that she's still upset, but I can't feel any sympathy for her. Instead I start mentally critiquing what's wrong. There was a time where I would blindly side with my friends, no matter what situation, but right now I just can't seem to understand her.
Anyways, I guess I should start actually working, but I'll be sneaking in reading "breaks" to make sure I don't get bored and fall asleep :3
Oh yeah! First entry as 17 years old! Doesn't feel any different ._.