Duude. I get so sentimental and type up a whole bunch of blog entries this time of the year and trickle off towards October/November. Pathetic again ._.
I was thinking (I don't seem to do a lot of that, luckily my brain didn't explode) and realized that I didn't have a great senior year. I didn't like my school much and wasn't really interested in people or friends in school. I blame myself for mentally filing people into cliques and making generalizations when one person was being nasty. Then again, I think I was making myself so unhappy because I kept making comparisons. When I first transferred 2 months into junior year, I didn't expect much, if anything at all. So I was surprised when I made some friends and had someone to eat lunch with after a week.
TIC '08 completely changed that. For the first time in a year I had people who were interested in talking to me, in what I had to say and actually cared about making friends. It was nice, really nice for once. I went back to school senior year and found out that in comparison, I really didn't care about learning, about getting work done or socializing. I'm not sure if that was just it, but with everything else on top of that I just stopped functioning, called in sick so many days and didn't turn in work to the point where I was failing school.
I can't believe that I got into college. I'm really worried that the same thing will happen in the fall, but hopefully it won't and if it does, I'll be more prepared. I really probably wouldn't have graduated if not for so many people who listened to me and put up with my incessant whining/complaining.
I'm looking at the wall of emo sounding entries and cringing. But really, at this time of year, its natural. Last year I was telling myself that I wasn't attached, or I really wasn't as attached, but everything kind of hit when Kass left. This year "it" actually hit day of, and I'm still not feeling normal. I know I said I wouldn't post anymore of this type of entry, but that last one was getting way too long, and this is partly about something different.
Dammit. I really need to get myself together before my mom finds out something is really wrong.
EDIT: Please don't mention this. I'm going to feel bad enough as it is. Really. Sorry, Thank you so much.