I need to rant before I explode and start yelling at her. This is oddly reminiscent of my freshman year of high school, but strangely enough my level of tolerance is lower.
I'm sick of my roommate and its been 2 weeks. I can deal with most things and let them go, but I hate constantly being called stupid. Every single error I make is called out by her, and she makes up new ones whenever its appropriate in conversation. I know I'm not even close to the optimal kind of person that she'd want for a roommate, let alone a friend, but she's not perfect either. Maybe she's insecure and likes broadcasting the fact that her roommate is an idiot in or to make herself feel better.
I know I'm moody, sometimes anti-social and I hate trying new things. She tells everyone who will listen about my failings as a person. While I'm right there. I'm not sure if its meant to be funny or not, and people usually laugh it off as a joke. What really gets me is that a lot of the things she says are either blatant lies, or something that she decided on her own in the process of judging me.
Funny thing is that its like a case of the pot calling the kettle black. She's obsessed with this MMORPG and spends most of her spare time playing and chatting with other people in her guild who also play. I think we're both pretty anti-social, and have kind of geeky interests. I really don't care about that, as long as we can get along with each other. She constantly comments on the time I spent playing games, on the computer or online. Yet she's just the same if not worse.
At this point, neither of us really spend time with other people. So we do a lot of things together, everything from meals to her dragging me to school wide events. Sometimes its fun, sometimes I'm bored out of my mind. But every time we run out of things to say, its back to "you suck." Okay, that gets old. So she comes up with more reasons as to why I fail at life, how I'm inept and I don't even know what she's trying to do.
Right now isn't a great time for me, but I'm trying. I would hate to blow up on her for something that isn't her fault. But this isn't funny anymore. I don't even think it was funny in the first place. Its getting to the point where every time she opens her mouth something negative comes out and I want to staple it shut. This time of the year never has been easy for me, and I'm far from optimistic. I find myself having to find optimistic answers to her constant barrage of negative comments, or having to brush them off and pretend to be aloof and uncaring.
This is the first time in a long time I can actually say that I'm trying. Learning Spanish, trying to catch up in class is just one instance, but I am trying hard. To have someone who's seen me working on Spanish brush me off as a lazy idiot just makes me angry.
I think it's not just her, she just makes me mad.
Bottom line, I miss home.