pink

All I want is a hug.

Okay I know I'm lucky to be where I am in life, etc etc. And I really am grateful to my parents for supporting me, but right now I feel like all thats going to waste.

I care, but I can't make myself care enough about school, classes. Same thing as this time last year, except my mom isn't here to baby me and scold me for not focusing. Oh, and I'm also in a completely different environment and this time I'm not thinking about college apps.

I can worry obsessively over things, but it doesn't mean that they'll get done, and it definitely doesn't guarantee good grades. Blah, blah grades aren't everything, I know. I'm not stupid but at the same time I'd rather sleep the day away rather then sit down and focus.

I can't tell if I'm worried because I really feel like a failure, or I'm worried because other people form judgments when I'm not doing well academically.

And while all this is very big, very important the little stuff still bothers me a lot. I refuse to depend on something else more then I depend on myself. I totally utterly refuse. I will not panic.

I don't know what I'm doing with myself. Stupid. Stupid. Idiot. It seems like all I'm good at is feeling sorry for myself.

First of all, this clearly references this photo taken by Janvi. I'll leave it up to you to figure out who is who.

This is probably the messiest thing I've posted in a long time. I realized when talking to Cindy that there are a lot of people I just don't draw very often. And then theres Cindy who somehow manages to appear in almost everything ._. Not really sure how I like how this turned out, I like the idea and I think the clothing, if not poses are mostly accurate. But at the same time its really had to chibify someone and keep defining characteristics.

Anyways, I just thought the idea was funny. If you lived in Allisonland, you might look a little like this :3

I owe you punches.

I'm so tired. I have no idea why. But I think I can at least focus now.

Thought I was having a really bad day, but noticed that things can get a lot worse.

Thanks for listening to me and cheering me up :) I have no idea why they're there, but I really love my friends.

Happier now.

Thank youu