Already, nothing is the same.
Life is coming apart at the seams - so why is it that I can’t seem to make myself sew up the edges?
Maybe I prefer a mass of indiscernible threads. No, I take that back. I don’t prefer it, it just seems to suit me better.
One quarter down, three to go. Tests sneaking up from every direction. I wonder why more high school students don’t drive themselves to insanity. One thread out of many, but there seem to be so many knots already.
Yesterday afternoon, I was studying vocabulary cards for today’s PSAT when, of course, I passed out for several hours, and had a very weird dream.
It was the first day of TIC ‘10 and we were having class…on a bus. (Kool-Aid Acid Test? lol) Anyways, we were there talking, and then I suddenly realized with a shock that I was not a TA, which at the time seemed like the most distressing thing in the world. Sy, surprised, said that there had been one spot open until the day before, when it had been given to her.
Realizing that I had nothing to do, since I hadn’t thought to sign up for any classes, I got off the bus (sldkjfsldf Ken Kesey) and walked home.
Weird nightmare? I think so. Kind of like the weird dream Connie had about hysterically freaking out over her pencil box. Then I woke up and studied vocabulary.
The Squirtle Squad (Albany High School): currently ranked 34 out of 63 teams in a 4-way tie, with 35 teams left to go.
I think it’s safe to say we’re out of the running for second round. Nothing really much left to say. I’m proud of my teammates. They’ll be really strong competitors next year.
Good luck to the AHS Higgs Bosons.
Wondercup Round 1 went well, much better than what we’d been expecting. It remains to be seen if we make it to Round 2, but we’re hoping.
My Physics textbook got wet on the way home. The edges of the pages are all wavy. I missed the rain - the sound, the smell, the sight of everything washed clean. On Tuesday, I was happy to walk home without an umbrella, soaked clean through to my skin within minutes. Though my textbook probably wasn’t.
It’s probably a different story elsewhere though. Last September, I read the BBC news breaking news with chills of horror - when Manila and the surrounded provinces were ravaged by floods, not once but twice, then pelted still more by heavy rains. I thought reading this kind of news was bad enough before I went to GYLC and made friends who lived all over the world. Once people you know and love are in danger, it’s a very, very different story.
Nina, Pia, and Billie, please be safe.
Being alone gives me too much time to think.
I know what I should be doing what I should be worrying about. And I know I need to be alone to do it.
I am so very, very, lonely. It is very hard to concentrate on anything when that one, single thought sits in the center of your chest, like a weight that drags you apart when you try to pull yourself together again.
It’s…frustrating, to say the least.