So, I guess I haven't updated you guys in a long time, huh? Well, there's a bunch of crap going on in my life right now. I'm failing more then one class >_> I have an F in English and a D in History, mostly because I don't ever do my work. But I mean, I think I could probably raise it. But I've realized that my work habits are probably a lot worse then they should be. I mean, I don't have one at all. I haven't been able to get the motivation to do homework either.
A coupe of days ago, my English teacher told the class that the more disfunctional the family is the clearer the roles are in the family. Well, me, second born that is, is known as the "Black Sheep", the one that tests the boundaries and borders of everything. Which led me to wonder, is my family disfunctional? I mean, my parents are divorced and I had a pretty messed up childhood, but really, I never thought of my family as disfunctional. But now that I thnk about it, it does make since. The first born is the one who pleases the parents any way they cn.My sister, that is. Of course she would fit the role of the firstborn. An now that I think about it, I may be fitting into the role of the second born category. I don't like this though. I won't want my family to be disfunctional. I mean really, I always here about children in disfunctional families being all bad and well, I don't like it.
A disfunctional family... a week or two ago, my friend was inquiring about my father. She asked me if I missed him and well, I don't think that well, I never got to know him, that's it. I hate the fact that I'm missing a family member. Not that I Know what I'm missing. I mean, all of the popular shows and cartoons portray the dad as the cheerful type, the one who saves the day. But when I think about it, I think I do miss him. I guess, I never have known what could've been a "proper family life". Fuck that though, iunno, I guess... argh, so hard to think. My mom is rarely home, and when she does I rarely talk to her. And my sister, well, I severed communications with her since she went off to college. And although we did do stuff together I don't think I was lose to her at all. I think I know what they're talking about now.. I miss her. I miss my old friends too.... shit, I missed everything. I'm such a spoiled brat I guess. I've always been able to get anything I've wanted. But really, I don't know. I went from a 4.0 GPA student in middle school to like... a failing student in high school. I guess I know what everyone was trying to tell me. HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS. While I've made friends in high school, I don't have anyone I can really talk to, really. which is why I'm really tankful of this bog. I guess I owe Kass a lot.
So right now I'm heading to Anaheim, which is for a Key Club convention. It's a community service club and our "district" isall of Hawaii and California, plus parts of Nevada. Am I excited? I guess. but this well, this sucks. I mean, I have so much on my mind I probably won't be able to enjoy myself at all. I should probably stop ranting now... well, no one ever reads my blog anyways, so who cares? Heh, a disfunctional family, I'll think about it